Details:
His name: Bradley Allen Trammel, currently of Clarkston, MI.
My name: Cynthia Turner, currently of Wallaceburg, Ontario.
Two children: Emo-currently 7, and Happy-currently 4.
We met at work, a Borders bookstore back in 2005 I believe, where he was the GM and I began as a lowly register jockey. It was lust at first sight even though he was married to someone else. This didn't seem to matter to him though, if you catch my drift. I was also married but separated from my husband. We worked together and got friendlier than we should have been while he was still with his wife. She kicked him out relatively early in our relationship, for which I am grateful. I made some poor choices then.
Just months after hooking up, brad and I found out I was pregnant. A big surprise for me since two doctors had told me I didn't ovulate and therefore would never have children. But anyway, there we were. I was very sick while pregnant with Emo. I'm a Type1 diabetic and developed DKA at one point. Added to that, brad was fired from his job, accused of theft from the cash deposit. I have no proof whether or not he actually stole that money, but my suspicion is that he most likely did. By the end of our relationship I found out things about brad that indicated he was definitely a shady character with a propensity for dishonest behaviour.
During my pregnancy things were precarious. Money was tight being on unemployment and my spousal support from my marriage. We fought a lot about how we would support this baby but I honestly believed he would love his child enough to figure himself out. Unfortunately, he never did. Things got progressively worse.
Emo made his appearance in mid-December and thankfully, was mostly healthy after one small bump in the road. My parents and hisparents continued to support us financially in a lot of ways. They almost single-handedly fed and clothed our child while I took care of the baby BY MYSELF. brad sat around doing next to nothing. He certainly didn't look for gainful employment. At one point, while Emo was just a few months old, a repo-man showed up at my door, of course brad was nowhere to be found, and demanded the keys to brad's truck. He hadn't paid for it in months. So, home alone, as usual, taking care of a brand new baby, I was forced to deal with brad's mess. After he lied to my face and said we were "fine" as far as the bills went. Over the next year various utilities were shut off for non-payment many times and friends and family bailed us out. Thank goodness for them because everytime I tried to take over the finances, I was lied to and told he "had it all under control."
While we lived in Southfield, Michigan, the landlord repeatedly showed up at our door. Always while I was alone. Always informing me that brad hadn't paid the rent. I got tired of always being lied to about money and eventually took Emo and moved into my parent's house in Canada. After a short time brad was evicted and taken to court so the landlord could try to recover the rent he was owed. Emo and I stayed at my parent's place for several months, and then, after being lied to some more and believing said lies (that he couldn't stand to be away from us...he loved us so much...we were the only things in life that mattered to him...he had done some reflecting and realized he had to shape up and be responsible...he had seen the light,) Emo and I returned to Michigan and moved into a place in Auburn Hills. A place which was purchased by MY EX-HUSBAND, and brad agreed to make payments on it monthly. He never did and one day, pregnant AGAIN and sitting on the porch with my then 2 year old (again, no brad...pay close attention, you'll see a trend,) a court officer came by and handed eviction papers to my very young son and asked him to hand those to his mommy. I was livid. This all took place after MONTHS of arguing and begging to see a financial plan from him...a paystub...ANYTHING that could help me get us out of the mess he was in. Well, something besides raising his child with zero help from brad, being pregnant, having cancer, and working on some proofreading work at night after Emo was asleep. I mean seriously, COULD HE DO ANY LESS? He refused to even provide medical insurance for either the baby or myself. My cancer progressed to stage 3 by the time I finally provided it myself.
Anyway, after this final insult to my sensibilities, I took Emo and went to Canada for the final time. We've been here ever since. All the while receiving text messages asking me to marry him, telling me how heartbroken and lost he is without us. Begging me to give him just "one more chance." Claiming he'd become "religious," and was figuring himself out. Lies. All lies.
As recently as four months ago he was still proclaiming his love for all of us. From the comfort of his mother's basement where he lived paying no bills or contributing in any way financially to his own support. For that matter, he hasn't contributed to the support of his children either. He hasn't paid me child support in many, many, many, many, months. He has seen his children TWICE in the last 8 months and that is entirely by his choice. I have offered to drop them off with him, a two-hour drive from my home, every other weekend and any other time he'd like to have them. He has canceled every single time because, he said, "he had to work." He has invited them over personally, and then at the very last moment, and I mean the hour before they're supposed to be there, he cancels. All under the guise of "work." In actuality, he has been playing at house with his new wife.
Yup, he dated someone else, continued to have a relationship with me (and I have the texts and bbm's to prove this, Sally Burgy-Trammel,) and then stopped seeing his children, LIED to his children, abandoned his children, to spend time with a woman. Again, all while having a relationship with me. And THEN, without telling his children, without inviting them, he secretly married SALLY BURGY-TRAMMEL in yet another relationship that was doomed from the start due to his dishonesty. Oh wait, did I mention that he'd been married twice already? Had children with another, and then while lying to both she and I (I assume he lied to her, I mean, who'd marry a man knowing he was sleeping with someone else?,) had ANOTHER clandestine wedding? LOL. It's almost mind-boggling that in today's day and age a man can't be alone for ten minutes. But, that's him. He uses women for what they can give him, then bails when he has sucked us dry.
He used his first wife because he was a horny young man, his second hoping to make the first divorce "not count" (no kidding...he said this,) and then had a relationship with me so he didn't have to be alone. He's using SALLY BURGY-TRAMMEL because he wanted to move out of his mother's house and couldn't afford it any other way. I hope she realizes this before she loses her shirt. He doesn't love her...he can't love her...he doesn't know how. If you can't love your own children, how can you love anyone? He's lied to her already, had an affair with me, and abandoned his children to be with her. Does that sound like someone that loves you?| You decide.
Ok, so that's all for today. I'll be back with more of the story. I have lots more details and stories about this stunning specimen of a child in a grown man's body. And before you ask, yup, I've called him every name in the book, threatened him with lawsuits if he didn't start doing right by his children, I've said it all. But in the end, know what I've actually done?
I've raised these kids alone.
I've paid for every single one of their needs without his help.
I've soothed their broken hearts when he's devastated them yet again.
I've been there every single day of their lives.
I've been a mother. What's he been?
